If Only for a Moment

 

If only for a moment I could go back in time,

not worry about the fact that I was just hired for a new position,

not worry about my young son and husband,

If only for a moment I could go back and make the decision again,

the decision to travel to see my father

If only for a moment I could go back and tell him before he was in a coma how much I loved him

If only for a moment I could give him another kiss and say, “I love you” while he was aware that I was there

Today, I try to live in the moment

I take every moment I can to tell my family how much they mean to me.  I know that my boys think I am crazy but I have this obsession of making sure I give them a kiss and say, “I love you,” before I leave. I will hunt them down in any part of the house, and I mean even the shower, just to do this.  I follow up my kiss with, “I love you, see you later”, never “good bye”. Good bye sounds so permanent to me. I know, I think some thing is wrong with me too, LOL.

I never want my kids to think, if only for a moment. I want them to live in the moment.

 

 

 

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5 thoughts on “If Only for a Moment

  1. Ack- looking in the past to decisions made is so hard! I can feel regret here and hope you find peace as well. I used to think that as a grownup I would know whether I made the right decision or not- oops, so not true.

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  2. There is nothing wrong with you! Telling those around us that we love them is one of the best parts of loving someone. The flow of this slice works really well…starts out with that repeating line and kind of explodes with your obsession all at once and then back to that moment. Love!

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  3. Your piece clearly shows your feelings of regret…..No regrets is what I always say! You may not have been there in person but in spirit you dad probably always senses your presence. You shouldn’t beat yourself up because we never can predict the future. Live for today.

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  4. There are so many lessons in life that teach us, aren’t there? I’m sad that you weren’t able to see your dad and tell him what you wanted to. You have taken that moment and turned it into a million moments with your family. PS – I’m even sadder to think that being new in our district may have prevented you from traveling to see your father. I’m so sorry about that.

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